The Bengali Chic

How often do we undergo self-realization? For you, I don't know but for me, I try to self analyze myself every day as to how kind or evil I have been. And to my utmost truthfulness, it turns out that I'm a sensitive person.  I reckon how I've listened to numerous stories of other's success and heartbreaks. But very rarely I see people express themselves in words when they're in love. I find it rather foolish to define pain with such sincerity and just hide away the happiness and butterflies of being in love.  I remember asking my late grandma whether she loved grandpa (nana ji). And I was waiting for an extraordinary reply but to my surprise, her answer was rather very satisfying. She told me that she didn't find the reason to label the feelings she had for grandpa as Love, for it felt very restricting. She said, what she felt for grandpa was affection, care, concern, trust, respect, anger and whatnot. But despite a mixture of such feelings she was very well ass...

6:30am- Her phone rang continuously in a row while she slept like she hasn't slept for a week. After 25mins she realised that her phone has been ringing. She peeked in the phone with one eye open and the brightness killing the little sleep in the corner of her eyes. 12 missed calls from 💗. She called back, "Hello" (in a sleepy distorted voice). From the other side, "Dude, I have been calling you for decades, I came to meet you, I'm going to the Maggie point, will be back in 20mins, better be ready at the college gate." (Call cuts) She is trying to figure out what just happened. Kept the phone aside and slept.  5 mins later, "Shit, he is coming!!" Talking to herself she hurried out of the bed, brushed her teeth and washed her face. Trying to fix her hair she zoned out.  * Flashback * Thinking about the last time how she had oil in her hair and wearing pyjamas she walked to meet him and he still so adored by her couldn't stop but pull her cheeks...

Some days I sit ideally listening to my playlist and reminiscing some good old memories.  Drunk nights, dancing till I'm out of breath, singing my heart out with my friends, laughing on silly drunk movies, sitting at the cliff sipping beer, laying on the beach and letting the waves calm my mind, listening to the life stories to complete strangers while sitting on the car roof, walking home after a late-night movie and roleplaying, stargazing while sipping coffee on a cold winter night with river water playing the perfect background music. It makes me happy and I feel I've lived my life purposefully so far. Then there are memories that make my heart flutter, memories of long hugs, irreplaceable smile, playful dances, forehead kisses and that one name that could give me the longest butterflies. The sensational peace and happiness which overwhelms me to the core.  "Those butterflies, damn those butterflies!!" Pritha Krishna

Into the forest of diversified thoughts and creepers of regrets, We all entangled ourselves, From the truth, we feared the most. Likewise, I knew What I was stepping into. The moment the aroma of the lustful dreams Crept through my nose. I was willing to do anything, To get to the source of it; The temptation was too strong to resent, It crept through my skin, Pulling me towards the The density of forgetfulness. While I grovel through the misty forest, Making my way through the green chandeliers, Filled with passion and perseverance, I reached the end, It was a dream so real, That reality seemed to have faded; Into the fog of delusion. Pritha Krishna

Cloudy nights snuggled up in her bed,  a weird sensation ran through her skin, like thorns pinching her finger and roses slowly caressing her pain off,  like hot coffee kissing her lips,  like the water droplets touching her skin on a rainy day; She felt embellished with memories, A spree of emotions puddled up right before her eyes, She was taken back to those days where the sun shone brighter with every smile, Where sitting under the sunlight was warmer, holding hands and hugging him felt peaceful. A smile bloomed on her face, as a flashback of memories ran before her, As she meticulously embraces herself through the virtual reality, the alarm goes off, Wide awake to a reality of subtleties. Pritha Krishna

Hey, You awake? It's 5am and I can't sleep.  My mind is wandering into weird places. Do you ever wonder why we were placed in this world with billions of population? Like all I do is eat, play, sleep, repeat. This can't be the purpose I was put on earth, Well, I can't find a purpose for all those great people who have already fulfilled the positions of extraordinary. I know, it must sound like I'm giving up, Well, I am not giving up because I'm suppressed by the greatness of others,  I just feel sad living in a society where such greatness comes after sacrifices, war, corruption, and in the end, the greatness isn't permanent because someone or the other out there would say trash about you, and people would believe it eventually.  Hatred is something, that should not have been discovered among humans. Like, I get angry and say something disheartening to someone and apologize within a second but till then the words had already cut through their ears and built ...

Couldn't figure out when from 18 to 22 life just turned upside down. It feels like a fraction of time, feeling too deeply every emotion, like a chemical reaction erupting inside the brain. Where was I? Where am I now? I never figured out the process, the moments are still alive, inside my memories. In an instance, I could feel myself sobbing on the bathroom floor, On the other, I remember breezing through the music all drunk in livelihood. It's always like a flashback to the river of sorrows, confusion, excitement, happiness, and wildness. I see everyone around me,  I wonder they too went through such bombardment of emotions, at that age. When figuring out stuff was difficult,  like running through a maze and reaching nowhere. How should I grow? I can't figure out at what stage I am. To what level should I grow each day? I never want to settle down, I don't want mediocrity, I want to thrive for something which will make my cells ablaze. I want answers, to all these emot...